Fanfiction - Veronica Mars.

And you'll laugh and embrace all of your friends

Lilly Kane has a type. Boy or girl, it doesn’t matter to her. As long as they’re pretty and will tell her how fabulous she is, Lilly will like them back.

Take sweet Veronica Mars, who Lilly longs to bring out of that sappy, innocent shell. It’s only a matter of time, Lilly tells herself as she gets ready for a night on the town with Veronica, Duncan and Logan. She knows that Veronica is doing the exact same thing back at her place, applying eyeliner and lip gloss the way Lilly taught her. Oh yes, Veronica is such a willing, bright pupil. In time, Lilly will teach Veronica everything she needs to know.

Logan and Weevil are two more she trained. Tough not so different in their well hidden chewy center, they worship the ground Lilly walks on. She enjoys the hoarseness of Weevil – though just her luck, she brings out his softer side and craves the softer side of Logan, oh so well kept underneath the cocky attitude and the wolf grin.

And then there’s Duncan. She adores her Donut, possibly more than their parents ever will. Never mind that while the elder Kane’s dote on their son, they don’t pay too much attention to their daughter. Lilly has learned not to care. She’s beautiful, fabulous and with

almost

the whole world at her lovely feet.

And so Lilly checks her reflection one last time before grabbing her purse and leaving the room, confident that all she needs is the undying devotion of those smart enough to love her.

She taught herself that one.

*****

You'll fake it if you have to

Logan has a face for happiness: blonde, bright blue eyes, beautiful smile. And it all starts when Lilly Kane looks at him. He wastes no time questioning his good fortune. Lilly is all kinds of awesome into one pretty package. He may stray and misbehave, but he always finds his way back to her. She makes him think that maybe – just maybe – he’s got a shot at actually being a happy, almost normal guy instead of just a fucked up rich boy. It’s a time where he can pretend there no bruises taint his flesh and his father’s words don’t burn his soul

Then Lilly dies.

He likes to pretend life goes on. He finds himself in the arms of other girls – miles of blonde hair and anonymous faces parade through his eyes. He plays his part in the cracked out production that is high school. And he still has Duncan. It’s easier to ignore your misery if you have a friend.

He lives as fast as he can and pretends it’s not just the way Lilly lived as well. Or maybe he’s just hoping to end up dead by a pool, his skull bashed in. Sometimes the prospect sounds tempting. Like the days after they find his mother’s car on that bridge.

How he ends up with Veronica Mars it’s still a mystery to him. No longer the soft, sweet little one Duncan dated back in the good days, this Veronica is jaded, witty and even cute. Then again, Logan sees her with slightly different eyes now. And for a few brief moments, it’s almost as good as it was before Lilly died and everything fell apart. He even pretends that the look of betrayal in Duncan’s eyes is worth the chance.

Of course, good things never last, ‘specially if you’re Logan Echolls.

Logan tries not to think about what happens next: Veronica suspecting him of murdering Lilly, his father’s arrest, his own arrest. So many nightmares merging with his own foolish pride into the chaos that finishes cracking his family and taking him away from Veronica and Duncan. He realizes now what a fool he was for letting her go. And now he watches them, back together, and it hurts more than he can bear.

Logan mocks them as they pass, and then walks away. They’ll never know how much it takes for him to smile when on the inside, he’s just falling apart.


*****

And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them

Veronica sometimes thinks she’s making up for her time as a shy teen by flirting – make that openly seducing and eloping – with danger over and over, sometimes for the money, sometimes for the truth. She has worn many disguises in the past year, concealed her identity with clothes and phone calls, defied authority more times that she can remember. She’s good at what she does and everybody knows that.

Veronica Mars is no longer just Lilly’s best friend, Duncan’s girlfriend, the sheriff’s daughter. She’s become her own person against the odds. And as she sits next to Wallace and they talk about schoolwork, she smiles and revels on her status. She has a wonderful friend, a loving father and who knows what the future might hold?

And then there are those moments where she glances at the ‘09ers and remembers a time when she used to be a part of the group. Duncan is still there, chatting up with Logan and holding Meg’s hand. It’s a siren song, beautiful and bittersweet. And sometimes, Veronica wishes things could go back the way they were.

It never comes true.

There’s nothing left to do but to make the best of what’s left.

*****


You'll be handsome and you'll be beautiful

Duncan is a hero in the eyes of his child. A knight dressed in blue that reads stories, cures scrapped knees and tells Lilly she’s the most wonderful child in the entire universe.

Lilly has never seen Daddy sad at night.

When the child sleeps peacefully, hugging her Stitch doll and sucking her thumb, a blonde curl falling over her forehead, Duncan sits by a window on his apartment and watches the world outside. He remembers a time when everything seemed possible in the world of the rich and popular. Life has been cruel, taking away those he cares about one way or the other - Lilly, Logan, Meg, Veronica. But it has also given him his child, whom he loves beyond anything and anyone and it’s worth all the sacrifices.

Still, he can’t help sit alone in the night and think about everything he’s left behind and ponder what would happen if he took a risk, even something as small as a quick phone call, to reconnect with those he’s lost. But he thinks of Lilly, who loves him more than anything and how he would break apart completely if he lost her. Duncan imagines her, wide eyes filling with tears as the police takes Daddy away, Lilly’s hero defeated by one mistake. He can hear her voice calling out to him, begging him to make things right.

The thoughts are enough to make him move away from the window, pondering about what to make for lunch tomorrow.

He will resist, even if it’s hard sometimes. His Lilly is worth it.

FIN