Title: Adios.
Fandom: Firefly.
Pairing Kaylee/River.
Rating PG-13.
Summary Kaylee has trouble letting go. River is the only one who speaks to Kaylee now.

Sometimes, the Captain lowers his head and closes his eyes. He says nothing, but Kaylee knows he wants to. She tries to say something nice. To let him know it wasn’t his fault, but he won’t listen to her. Nobody does.

At least he’s not crying, Kaylee says to herself.

Simon cries in his bunk every night. Kaylee cries too, longing to hold him in her arms and tell him she misses him. But she can’t. Not anymore.

The rest of the crew is silent. Jayne barely leaves his bunk anymore. And when he does, he walks by Kaylee’s door, stops and raises a fist, ready to knock. He finally sights and moves on. Sheperd sits alone, eyes closed, possibly praying. Kaylee sits by his side until the silence brings tears to her eyes and she has to stand up and run. And she has nowhere to run.

Kayle would have gone insane if it wasn’t for River. River, who speaks to her in sweet tones and will sometimes craddle Kaylee like a broken doll when memories of that night rush back into their tainted minds. But most of the time, Kaylee pretends she can be herself again, tells River about engines, boys and games and wishes she could go take a look at how her girl’s going. She hopes the new mechanic threats Serenity with love.

When Kaylee feels the pain coming back, River is there, and she knows exactly what to do to help Kaylee.

River’s touch feels like everything and nothing Kaylee’s ever felt before. Sometimes they’ll kiss, River tasting sugar and wood. Maybe Kaylee’s imagination has been on overdrive since that night. Maybe it has something to do with all the experiments they did on River back in that place. Personally, Kaylee likes to think it’s just a part of who River is.

Like the part where River rests her head near Kaylee and says “She’s so scared now”. The crew passes by and nods, too stunned to say anything else, too broken to look at the coffin. They know it’s just part of the process, to admit to themselves that Kaylee is gone forever.

Kayle doesn’t know to to deal with it either. She’d rather wander Serenity and enjoy the confort she gets in River’s arms. When they’re together, death is not real. There are bodies entwined, warm skin and the power to actually feel something in a world Kaylee refuses to leave.

“You can’t sleep anymore,” River says one night as she strokes Kaylee’s hair. Once upon a time, Inara used to brush Kaylee’s hair that way. “You need rest.”

“I know,” Kaylee whispers. She hopes River will forget and say something else. But of course, River never forgets.

“You’ll sleep soon.”

And Kayle tries hard not to cry, because she knows exactly what River means.

*

She should have never taken that step forward. But loyalty won over survival instict when she spoke and moved, allowing the Captain a few valuable seconds to pull out his gun and shoot that guard. Sadly the other man was fast as well, managing one shot before the Captain killed him. Kayle wasn’t exactly sure of what had happened next. She only felt the familiar pain, the warm blood pouring out of her chest. Just like last time, she thought as her knees gave in. Good thing we have Simon. The doctor will fix me. No big deal. He’s...

She was dead before she hit the floor.

*

They bury her on a Saturday. The sun shines over them and everyone has flowers. Even Jayne, who shifts uncomfortably from side to side and complains the sun makes his eyes all watery. They later nearby and have lunch, still reluctant to leave Kaylee alone. Kaylee herself can relate. But as River moves away from the group she knows she must follow her.

“Do you know where I’m goin’?” Kaylee asks, still reluctant to follow her. River nods.

“Is it going to hurt?”

“The only pain you can feel is the one you inflict on yourself,” River replies.

Kaylee sights, glances back at the crew. “I hate feeling like this. And I don’t wanna go.”

“I know.”

“But I have to.”

“You’ll be safe. You are not in danger anymore.”

“That’s nice.”

River looks at her, smiles, her next word making her sound like the Captain. “Yeah.” Then the smile fades a little and she’s River again. “Sometimes, I wish I could go there too. I won’t be broken anymore. And I’ll go, someday. And you’ll be there.”

Kaylee smiles back, and for the first time since she died, she feels good. She misses her friends already, but she knows that won’t change. But she can move on.

“River,” she says. “Walk with me a little more?”

She feels River’s fingers gently entwining with hers. They walk together in silence. As they move forward, Kaylee closes her eyes and remembers many things. Good and bad. And realizes the bad always overweights the good. She opens her eyes and turns to River, wishing to say how much her help has meant during these times. How important was Kaylee to stay, and how much it means for her that River knew how to help. Sweet River, who now gives Kaylee the courage to move on.

“Thank you,” Kaylee finally says. River is smiling again. At first sight she hasn’t heard, but Kaylee knows better.

At some point, River’s hand is holding no one anymore. She stops then, her eyes on the horizon. Somewhere she cannot see, Kaylee is finally home.

“Good bye,” she says. She doesn’t move, almost as if guarding Kaylee’s journey. She barely notices Simon’s voice, his hand on her shoulder. There’s still pain in his voice when he says River’s name. Pain is such a part of their lives now. But she smiles at him and he smiles back, and River knows they’ll make it. All of them.

And that night, as everyone else sleeps and the monsters come to River’s dreams, she’s strong enough to take them. Things will never be the same, in many senses, but they’ll make it work.